Motivation
Training Exercises and Resources

In today’s world, we seem to be constantly chasing something; a new job, a new house, more money, more time, new cloth, a new partner, a new car, a new gadget and on and on. This chase is becoming a major source of anxiety for many people. It is like you live in a world where you can have a lot, but you are not getting much. The problem is not with you though. The problem is that several significant trends in the past century have led to the explosion of content, products and experiences. The availably of all of this is of course great for society. It makes living richer and more rewarding but it also means that today’s people would feel that they are missing out on a lot; in fact, more so than any other people in history simply because we have a lot more available to use.

As such, to reduce any potential anxiety that arises as a result of all this abundance and our inability to have it all, we must consciously practice being content and appreciative. By being content we focus on what we desire the most and take pleasure in having it. By being appreciative we focus on what we already have and feel happy about our good fortunes.

Many techniques exist for practicing being appreciative or content. Here is an exercise that help you in this regard. The questions can be answered individually and with as much time as necessary. The following instructions are provided as a guide in case you want to use the exercise during a training course and then follow it with a general discussion.

Is there such a thing as a good career or a bad career? Is there such a thing as a good hobby or a bad hobby? Such choices are often very personal so can we really say what is good for people and what is bad? Probably not, but we all know that these days a lot of people desire “success”. It seems that with success comes a lot of happiness affecting all areas of life. It is not the only way to gain happiness but it certainly can lead to it. Success is not always about careers or jobs; it can be about anything in a person’s life; it could be success in raising good children, success in gardening, success in being a likable person, success in being the first to achieve a feat, success in being good at a given skill, success in being useful to society or simply success in being happy and getting the most from life.

With the concept of success and happiness comes options and choices. We all need to make decisions about what careers to get into, what hobbies to engage in and what to spend our finite time on. The decision means that, yes there is such a thing as a good or bad choice that can in the long run influence your happiness.

Some people seem to excel at this. They make all the right choices and it seems that the world goes out of its way to accommodate their desires. How come they succeed so well? Perhaps on further examination we can discover the underlying principles that help one make good choices.

As an example, let’s consider an episode in the life of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s. No one can dispute that he had an extraordinary life so far and with his universality and fame, it is certainly worth examining his life to see how his decisions and interests has shaped his life.

A woman massages dummy ears with embedded super sensitive binaural microphones. Another presenter uses her nails on a wooden box to create a tapping sound. Someone squeezes shaving foam between her fingers and captures the sound effects. Another has discovered a jelly like toy in some toy store and is experimenting with it to see what sounds in generates.

This is ASMR and it stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Search for “ASMR” online and especially on YouTube and you will be given thousands of videos offering you one form or another of stress-free relaxation. Video creators are hard at work churning one video after another and the world doesn’t seem to get enough of them. Many viewers tend to watch a favourite video over and over again or ask for specific variations and expect the creators to respond. What is going on?

The answer is simple; because watching these videos or listening to them makes people “happy”, “relaxed”, “euphoric” and “destressed.” The term ASMR was coined as early as 2010 but it has become ubiquitous thanks to the internet and how sub-cultures and societies form around common needs.

The mainstream media is now picking up on the phenomenon. It is not always sound either. There are videos where presenters move their fingers in front of the camera, effectively in front of your face and this leads to a hypnotic and mesmerising effect. Why people watch such videos?

People tend to focus on negative aspects of their personality harshly. Many exaggerate their negative traits or personal observations beyond what they really are which affects their self-esteem and self-worth negatively. This exercise helps people to look at the positive side and avoid negative and destructive generalisations.

In this activity, a group of people get to acknowledge each other’s actions and appreciate the impact of such actions on their own lives. People tend to avoid praising despite the fact that it is incredibly motivating. In addition, people also tend to shrug off praise as a way of being humble or they may feel they need to be polite rather than boasting about their actions. Both of these lead to a missed opportunity on boosting a person’s self-esteem. This activity provides an opportunity to do this systematically and in a safe environment.

It is ideal for a team of people who have been working together, know each other well and have gone through shared experiences so they can comment on each other’s actions.

In Chapter 14 of Focused Determination, a motivational technique is presented which we call “Weekly Slogans”. These are inspiring quotes or “Slogans” that you choose for personal motivation. As described in the book, you need a collection of them so that you can use a different one each week. A list is provided in the book (in Appendix B) which is included below.

As indicated in the book, this page is where you can submit your favourite weekly slogans so that other readers can get inspired by them while preparing and extending their own personal lists.

In many social environments, boasting about ourselves is usually frowned on. It is often impolite to keep going on about our own achievements and show off our skills, processions and knowledge. This leads to a certain amount of conformity where we never get to praise ourselves. We are encouraged to praise others (rightly so) and everyone loves to be praised. However, we never get to acknowledge our own achievements internally. In fact, most often we are so focused on learning or owning the next thing that we forget we have come a long way already.

This lack of self-praise can lead people to devalue themselves and not see their own accomplishments as significant or worthy of sharing with others. This can in turn lead to reduced self-esteem and life-worth. Hence, it is useful to have an opportunity to self-praise in front of others.

In this elegant but powerful activity, delegates get to praise themselves in a controlled environment so there is no room to appear rude or impolite. They get to acknowledge their own accomplishments and feel good about themselves by sharing this with others. It is this sharing aspect that makes this activity so powerful by encouraging people to talk about themselves positively while having someone to listen to. It simply reminds people that they have done well, focusing their attention on the most positive aspects of their lives.

This exercise is ideal to explore role models and the importance and significant of having one. Instead of trying to explain directly how useful role models are, the exercise takes an indirect approach by simply getting delegates feel excited about their role models or feel the excitement of others when they talk about theirs. Such discussions can inspire the participants to look more closely at role models and if they have not thought of one so far, choose one during the exercise.

This is a simple yet powerful exercise that helps delegates discover something positive in every experience. The structure of the exercise is actually quite simple yet the power resides in asking a simple question that leads to positive thinking as opposed to asking questions that lead to self-blame and reduction of self-esteem.

This thought-provoking exercise helps delegates appreciate what they already have. Most people, in their quest to achieve more experience more and possess more forget what they have already achieved. The quest and the focus on future is indeed a good thing and must be safeguarded. However, appreciation helps to increase self-esteem and make a person feel that he is experiencing a fulfilling life. The boost in energy can in turn help people carry on better with their quests, achieve more and ultimately become happier.