Communication Exercise: But No But

Purpose

The aim of this activity is to raise awareness to the importance of constructive feedback. This exercise also shows how small changes in the use of words can make a big difference on how our suggestion or comment is perceived by others.

Objective

Participants have to give a feedback with and without the use of word “But”.

Setup

• Split the group into pairs.
• Each participant then has thirty seconds to comment on the importance of other person’s contribution within the company and the way it can be improved. The participants have to use the word “But” in their sentence. For example:

• • “I admire how you consult others when making important sale decisions but it would be better if we organise meetings for such discussions.”

• Each participant then has to repeat their comment but this time they have to replace the word “but” with “and”. For example: 

• • “I admire how you consult others when making important sale decisions and it would better if we had organised meetings for such discussions.”

Timing

Explaining the Test: 5 minutes.

Activity: 5 minutes

Group Feedback: 20 minutes.

Discussion

Discuss with the group the importance of using positive language when giving feedbacks. How the two feedbacks were different from each other? Did they have the same effect? How does using “but” instead of “and” changes the way the comment or feedback is received? Do you feel offended, criticised or undermined when someone uses “but”?