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Dissolving Resentment Exercise

Dissolving Resentment Exercise


Purpose

Resentment can consume people. Constantly thinking negatively about others can make an individual sad, angry and ultimately depressed. This strong emotion should be addressed before it becomes chronic or habitual.

The technique presented here borrows from NLP with a strong emphasis on visualisation. It is also useful to address self-resentment and self-loathing.

The power of this technique is in repetition. You can conduct this in a class, though it is best if it is carried out on an individual basis. The instructions should be provided once, and individuals should then go through the exercise without interruption or disturbance. They can then repeat this over a period of time to get its full effect.

Objective

Use a visualisation technique to eliminate resenting someone you dislike.

What You Need

  • A quiet area.

Setup

  • Find a quiet place where you are not going to be interrupted.
  • Sit quietly and close your eyes.
  • Relax your body.
  • Slow down your breathing.
  • Now, imagine you are sitting in a darkened theatre. In front of you is a small stage.
  • Let the person you resent enter the stage. This can be anyone in the present or in the past, alive or dead.
  • As you visualise the person, imagine good things happening to this person. Identify what would be useful and meaningful for this person and let the character on stage experience them. See how happy the person becomes. See their smile in your mind’s eye.
  • Hold this image for a few minutes. Make it into a memory, as if this has actually happened.
  • Now, let the person exit the stage.
  • It’s now your turn. Approach the steps and go up on the stage.
  • This time visualise good things happening to you. Imagine them as vividly as you can. See yourself happy and smiling.
  • Repeat this exercise daily for 20 days and see how any resentments you may be feeling towards another person or yourself fades away and gets replaced by positive thoughts and feelings.

Timing

Explaining the Exercise: 5 minutes

Activity: 10 minutes

Group Feedback: 10 minutes

Discussion

How do you feel about the person you resented now that you have gone through the exercise? In what way can you expand and improve on this technique in order to eliminate resentment even more powerfully?